Thief

There is a thief in this house, and he must be identified. So hear ye all, Sam I Am, aka Sammir, aka Sammy, aka Sam is a thief. His fetish is stealing pony tail elastic bands from anywhere his owners lay them down and then stashing them in his food dish. Today was the last straw. He stole it right off my night stand. This must stop! Therefore, I am posting an APB for this thief.

You have been found out. Your rap sheet is quite lengthy. Turn yourself in. Your owners.